


POV

by keijisramen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, M/M, Self-Acceptance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 11:27:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27969824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keijisramen/pseuds/keijisramen
Summary: Again, Akaashi wasn't sure how he got so lucky to have Bokuto walk into his life.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 5
Kudos: 66





	POV

**Author's Note:**

> Hello,  
> I cried writing this because it is tailored to show my current struggles 
> 
> Pls note the tags, mentions of not eating, depression, fatigue, if that bothers you don't read thx♥️

Drowning.

That's what you could call it.

The suffocating feeling like trying to breathe and no air will come out. Or one's drowning and suffocating in their own thoughts.

* * *

  
Akaashi Keiji was perfect, the perfect student, perfect son, perfect setter. That didn't stop the suffocating feeling, to be quite honest Akaashi was exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally. Getting up felt harder than normal, trying felt harder than normal. But he couldn't let it get to him, he couldn't let the perfectionist personality he held slip. Akaashi didn't realize he could love life, until he met Bokuto Koutaro. Bokuto represented the sun himself and Akaashi was unsure as to why the man was always so happy. Even when he felt like slipping away, Bokuto reminded him to keep going. 

“Akashi!” Bokuto had messed up Akaashis name when they first met. Akaashi only gave a small smile and tried to correct him, now Bokuto seems over enthusiastic about saying his name. As time passed Akaashi wasn't sure how Bokuto became such a huge part of his life, he was grateful. He was grateful to have someone remind him that he doesn't have to be perfect and around Bokuto, that it's okay to have fun. 

Even when Akaashi felt like no one noticed, Bokuto was there making sure he was okay. The first bad grade Akaashi got triggered a panic attack that only Bokuto seemed to notice. Akaashi was good at hiding his emotions, good at hiding what he couldn't show to the world. Bokuto knew, almost like he was psychic towards Akaashis feelings.

"Ahgashe can we hang out this weekend?" Bokuto cheerfully asked.

Again, Akaashi wasn't sure how he got so lucky to have Bokuto walk into his life.

"Unfortunately not Bokuto-san, I have a ton of school work to get done." Akaashi always responded the same way.

"Awwww! Well don't work too hard! And make sure to eat something." Bokuto grinned.

It was like he knew. Akaashi overworked himself, a gifted kid who was slowly burning himself out. Bokuto was the person to relight his flame every time. Despite Bokutos moods, which Akaashi on top of everything has memorized, Bokuto is lending a hand to Akaashi. While Akaashi was gifted in many ways he was never the best at making friends. He never went out after practice with his old teammates, he never tried to make friends. Bokuto had changed his life for the better and in more ways than Akaashi could ever imagine.

Akaashi was face first in his books when the doorbell rang. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, thinking he could ignore the bell. He cannot lose focus now. On the fourth time the doorbell rang Akaashi finally got up to answer the door, he was met with an overly excited and grinning Bokuto.

"You look exhausted Ahgashe! Let me guess, you didn't eat anything? Its 1 pm!" Bokuto handed Akaashi the bag of food.

Akaashi was shocked. He never knows what to expect when Bokuto comes over or when Bokuto is around but it is always positive.

"Ah, no I haven't Bokuto-san… thank you for the food. How much do I owe you?" Akaashi took the food, turning to get some money.

"None. You need to eat and I'm here to eat with you." Bokuto gave his bright smile, the one that gave the sun a run for it's money.

Akaashi stared blankly at Bokuto for a moment, it's not that he didn't want to eat with bokuto he just couldn't lose focus. He needed to get back to studying.

"Please Akaashi. I know eating has been harder lately, I'll look away." Bokuto gave a small smile as if he found out Akaashis secret. It's true though, some days were harder to eat than most. Some days Akaashi didn't want to leave his bed, but on those days Bokuto always seemed to find a way to worm his way to Akaashi.

  
Akaashi moved to open the door more to allow Bokuto inside. It took everything in him to not break down, to not hug Bokuto so tightly it may crush the man. Akaashi had always been one for details, for perfection, for being up to everyones standards but all Akaashi wanted to be was enough. And to Bokuto, he was.

"Are you sure about the money? I can pay you for the food-"

"Akaashi please, just eat with me. Even if its a bite." Bokuto spoke, following Akaashi to his room. Bokuto took in the amount of notebooks and textbooks open on Akaashis desk, the amount of pens and highlighters sprawled out.

Akaashi sat down around the small table, setting the food on it. "What did you get?"

"Your favorite, onigiri and I got some of my favorites too. All you have to do is take a bite, I'm proud of you for letting me in." Bokuto smiled, taking out the food then handing Akaashi the onigiri box.

Akaashi took a deep breath and opened it. He had to admit the food smelled really good. "Thank you, Bokuto-san." He spoke softly as he picked up an onigiri and took a bite.

Bokuto cheered as he watched Akaashi, the brightest smile on his face, "I am so proud of you Kaashi!"

Akaashi felt tears rolling down his cheeks as he took another bite. It was the little things, the little "Im proud of you", the little "you need to eat", the simple little things that Bokuto noticed and did to make Akaashi fall for him. 

Bokuto seemed to notice the tears and gently moved closer to wipe them away. He gave Akaashi the softest smile, "you don't have to be so strong all the time Kaashi. Lean on me when you need it."

Akaashi tried to argue, he opened his mouth only to have Bokuto give him a look and say, "no arguing. I know it's hard to reach out. I know its hard to ask for help, tell me what I can do."

"Never leave. Keep noticing the little things like you do." Akaashi spoke softly, his voice quivering.

The one friend Akaashi has made, the one friend to notice his every little cries for help. When he's okay and when he's not. Like Akaashi, Bokuto is learning his weaknesses. Bokuto is learning how much pressure Akaashi constantly puts on himself to fit the image of others and Bokuto wants nothing more than to take his stress and pain away.

When getting out of bed started to get harder Bokuto made sure to be there. Every single time. He was there from morning to night and would repeat it daily until Akaashi had the strength to get out of bed on his own. It's not at all that he was weak, physically but mentally. The voices would grow louder on certain days and Akaashi wanted to give up. Bokuto would never let that happen though, so he would be around Akaashi as much as possible. Telling him about his day, how much he appreciates him, and making sure Akaashi would eat.

As years started to go by, Akaashi started to see himself how Bokuto saw him. He was able to sit down and eat a meal, even on his down days. But those down days didn't come as often as they used to. Bokuto never stopped telling Akaashi how much he loved and appreciated him. Akaashi was grateful that Bokuto kept his promise on never leaving, never giving up on him.

Akaashi finally had the courage to confess to Bokuto at Bokutos graduation party. Bokuto only hugged Akaashi with a smile, he had been waiting. Waiting for Akaashi to not only realize he was ready but realize that Bokuto wasn't leaving.

Bokuto was proud of Akaashis progress and growth. He's proud of the progress Akaashi will continue to make, and he does not want to miss a single ounce of his growth. 


End file.
